Fat Chicks!

[drteasee]

So I am getting a divorce and someone I THOUGHT I could trust ( Timmy the douche 2 Tones) about maybe going on a double date with him and his wife. Well next thing I know I got a fat girl on my Jock!! So I had a little fun and got some naked pics of the walrus but now I need to know how to let her go without hurting her little feelers. Any thoughts?

[CryptKper]

Good luck.
I've been with my wife since the 7th grade so I wouldn't be much help.

[Simmion_1]

the last one i was with i told her i just didnt have the time for a relationship.. girl i met on the internet while i was in iraq, i figured out she was huge before we went out, but i felt bad so i took her on a date n dumped her the next day heh.

[Timmy_2_Tones]

I warned you quite thoroughly before you sent that message... So this is not my fault. However, I told you of ways to get rid of her, but you keep saying you want to be "NICE".

[David_3033]

Just tell her your car or truck just can't support the weight of her fat ass. You might get smacked or punched but it will almost guarantee she will leave you alone.

[Gooseman_71]

You could hire a film crew, get hypnotized and make a Shallow Hal Reality show sequel!

[Pakman3000]

So I am getting a divorce and someone I THOUGHT I could trust ( Timmy the douche 2 Tones) about maybe going on a double date with him and his wife. Well next thing I know I got a fat girl on my Jock!! So I had a little fun and got some naked pics of the walrus but now I need to know how to let her go without hurting her little feelers. Any thoughts?
http://i670.photobucket.com/albums/vv61/Pakman3000/1266532229615.gif

[XxSilentxFartxX]

aww whats wrong Big Girls need lovin too

[Ironhide400]

Put a lift kit on your truck, and get this bumper sticker .........


[attachment=0:2dbshutz]lifted_cause_fat_chicks_cant_jump_bumper_sticker-p128851729141480300tmn6_400.jpg[/attachment:2dbshutz]

[DaCajun]

WOW and you guys call me an asshole. I will have to say you guys are bigger assholes. :lol: :lol: :lol:

You want to know the sad thing some of you guys are big fat asses yourself :lol: :lol: :lol: Such irony. :lol: :lol:

[jack]

well you're new to the ways of love my friend... but I'll help jacks guide to breakups 101.

1) the coyote ugly escape kit- it consists of a fake arm attached to a harness, so when you throw the break up lay her way and she falls asleep on your arm. instead of chewing through your arm which is quite painful (trust me, I still have the scar... not fun), just simply use your free hand and unattached the harness at the buckle and jump out the second story window to freedom.

2)the penguin- coat yourself in various oils then tell her you want to break up...but be sure to do it in person otherwise you will have coated yourself in these oils for nothing. and you'll need a Twinkie, when you deliver the bad news and she goes to grab you, bust out the Twinkie quickly and throw it in the opposite direction. when she distracted and she will be.... this is when you take full advantage of your oily prep-work by lugeing down the hallway to freedom p.s. be sure to bring a helmet because while you flying down that hallway on your belly you'll really build up some speed and concussions suck.

3)w.i.t.s.e.c.t. - or witness relocation if you will, but that involves you witnessing a mob hit. but hey the good thing is she'll never find you again.... but then again nobody else will either.

4)captain insane O- this will involve you wearing a tinfoil hat, talking about satellites 24/7, pissing in various corners of her apartment and discussing the invisible gnomes that are stealing your thoughts and your socks. that should send her running or calling the local authorities, either way your not her problem anymore your the states problem and you'll be out after a brief 72 hour observational period... and free of her forever.

5)the kiss o gram- hire a male stripper to deliver your breakup message, once she has that tube steak dangling in her face she wont care. she'll be like drteasee who??? yeah you'll be out 100... but it will be one of the best breakups of her life.

well those should do for now, if they don't work I have more. :mrgreen:

[David_3033]

Nice Jack thanks for the laugh I needed that. :lol: :lol:

[jack]

Nice Jack thanks for the laugh I needed that. :lol: :lol:
tried and true brother :lol: :lol: :lol:

[ASignorelli]

Ummmm, even though you might want to upkeep your "NICE GUY" image, cause that is what you might be on the inside, like myself. You just gotta suck it up, and be the biggest freaking dick she has ever seen, make sure you at least get slapped, or better yet, Text her! that usually makes them more mad. whatever you do don't let her even think she's gonna get seconds in the future. MAKE SURE SHE NEVER CALLS YOU BACK! tell her to delete your # if you gave it to her, ect... I know it sucks, but once you do it a giant weight will be lifted. no pun intended. LOL

[tracker_usmc]

Put a lift kit on your truck, and get this bumper sticker .........


[attachment=0:3lh6p6zp]lifted_cause_fat_chicks_cant_jump_bumper_sticker-p128851729141480300tmn6_400.jpg[/attachment:3lh6p6zp]

Dam you beat me to it, I was going to say the same thing. :lol: Dude tell her your just getting divorced and thought you could handle a relationship right now but you can't. Worked for me about 6 years ago, she wasn't fat just borderline PSYCHO!!! :lol: