toby2533
12-14-2012, 06:58
Taoism:
Shit happens.
Confucianism:
Confucius say, "Shit happens."
Buddhism:
If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
Zen Buddhism:
Shit is, and is not.
Zen Buddhism #2:
What is the sound of shit happening?
Hinduism:
This shit has happened before.
Islam:
If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
Islam #2:
If shit happens, kill the person responsible.
Islam #3:
If shit happens, blame Israel.
Catholicism:
If shit happens, you deserve it.
Protestantism:
Let shit happen to someone else.
Presbyterian:
This shit was bound to happen.
Episcopalian:
It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.
Methodist:
It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it.
Congregationalist:
Shit that happens to one person is just as good as shit that happens to another.
Unitarian:
Shit that happens to one person is just as bad as shit that happens to another.
Lutheran:
If shit happens, don't talk about it.
Fundamentalism:
If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!)
Fundamentalism #2:
If shit happens to a televangelist, it's okay.
Fundamentalism #3:
Shit must be born again.
Judaism:
Why does this shit always happen to us?
Calvinism:
Shit happens because you don't work.
Seventh Day Adventism:
No shit shall happen on Saturday.
Creationism:
God made all shit.
Secular Humanism:
Shit evolves.
Christian Science:
When shit happens, don't call a doctor -pray.
Christian Science #2:
Shit happening is all in your mind.
Unitarianism:
Come let us reason together about this shit.
Quakers:
Let us not fight over this shit.
Utopianism:
This shit does not stink.
Darwinism:
This shit was once food.
Capitalism:
That's MY shit.
Communism:
It's everybody's shit.
Feminism:
Men are shit.
Chauvanism:
We may be shit, but you can't live without us...
Commercialism:
Let's package this shit.
Impressionism:
From a distance, shit looks like a garden.
Idolism:
Let's bronze this shit.
Existentialism:
Shit doesn't happen; shit IS.
Existentialism #2:
What is shit, anyway?
Stoicism:
This shit is good for me.
Hedonism:
There is nothing like a good shit happening!
Mormonism:
God sent us this shit.
Mormonism #2:
This shit is going to happen again.
Wiccan:
An it harm none, let shit happen.
Scientology:
If shit happens, see "Dianetics", p.157.
Jehovah's Witnesses:
>Knock< >Knock< Shit happens.
Jehovah's Witnesses #2:
May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our shit?
Jehovah's Witnesses #3:
Shit has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall survive its happening.
Moonies:
Only really happy shit happens.
Hare Krishna:
Shit happens, rama rama.
Rastafarianism:
Let's smoke this shit!
Zoroastrianism:
Shit happens half on the time.
Church of SubGenius:
BoB shits.
Practical:
Deal with shit one day at a time.
Agnostic:
Shit might have happened; then again, maybe not.
Agnostic #2:
Did someone shit?
Agnostic #3:
What is this shit?
Satanism:
SNEPPAH TIHS.
Atheism:
What shit?
Atheism #2:
I can't believe this shit!
Nihilism:
No shit.
Shit happens.
Confucianism:
Confucius say, "Shit happens."
Buddhism:
If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
Zen Buddhism:
Shit is, and is not.
Zen Buddhism #2:
What is the sound of shit happening?
Hinduism:
This shit has happened before.
Islam:
If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
Islam #2:
If shit happens, kill the person responsible.
Islam #3:
If shit happens, blame Israel.
Catholicism:
If shit happens, you deserve it.
Protestantism:
Let shit happen to someone else.
Presbyterian:
This shit was bound to happen.
Episcopalian:
It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.
Methodist:
It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it.
Congregationalist:
Shit that happens to one person is just as good as shit that happens to another.
Unitarian:
Shit that happens to one person is just as bad as shit that happens to another.
Lutheran:
If shit happens, don't talk about it.
Fundamentalism:
If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!)
Fundamentalism #2:
If shit happens to a televangelist, it's okay.
Fundamentalism #3:
Shit must be born again.
Judaism:
Why does this shit always happen to us?
Calvinism:
Shit happens because you don't work.
Seventh Day Adventism:
No shit shall happen on Saturday.
Creationism:
God made all shit.
Secular Humanism:
Shit evolves.
Christian Science:
When shit happens, don't call a doctor -pray.
Christian Science #2:
Shit happening is all in your mind.
Unitarianism:
Come let us reason together about this shit.
Quakers:
Let us not fight over this shit.
Utopianism:
This shit does not stink.
Darwinism:
This shit was once food.
Capitalism:
That's MY shit.
Communism:
It's everybody's shit.
Feminism:
Men are shit.
Chauvanism:
We may be shit, but you can't live without us...
Commercialism:
Let's package this shit.
Impressionism:
From a distance, shit looks like a garden.
Idolism:
Let's bronze this shit.
Existentialism:
Shit doesn't happen; shit IS.
Existentialism #2:
What is shit, anyway?
Stoicism:
This shit is good for me.
Hedonism:
There is nothing like a good shit happening!
Mormonism:
God sent us this shit.
Mormonism #2:
This shit is going to happen again.
Wiccan:
An it harm none, let shit happen.
Scientology:
If shit happens, see "Dianetics", p.157.
Jehovah's Witnesses:
>Knock< >Knock< Shit happens.
Jehovah's Witnesses #2:
May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our shit?
Jehovah's Witnesses #3:
Shit has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall survive its happening.
Moonies:
Only really happy shit happens.
Hare Krishna:
Shit happens, rama rama.
Rastafarianism:
Let's smoke this shit!
Zoroastrianism:
Shit happens half on the time.
Church of SubGenius:
BoB shits.
Practical:
Deal with shit one day at a time.
Agnostic:
Shit might have happened; then again, maybe not.
Agnostic #2:
Did someone shit?
Agnostic #3:
What is this shit?
Satanism:
SNEPPAH TIHS.
Atheism:
What shit?
Atheism #2:
I can't believe this shit!
Nihilism:
No shit.