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  1. #1
    USMG Member wick3d_y4yo's Avatar
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    Bouncy Castles Will Kill Your Kids

    Today in Reasons You're a Terrible Parent: that bouncy castle that you rented for your child's birthday party has probably already caused them irreparable lead poisoning. Sorry.

    The California attorney general has filed a lawsuit after tests found that bouncy castlesóor, as the paper of record refers to them, "bounce houses," which make them sound like some sort of strip jointócontain enough lead to screw your kids' tiny brains up but good: "Lead levels in the vinyl, the tests found, varied from 5,000 parts per million to 29,000, far above the federal limit of 90 to 300 parts per million."

    One official advises kids to "wipe their hands and faces afterward." But they better not wipe their faces with their hands, cause that would probably just get more lead particles into their tiny mouths.
    I don't care what people say, I love to jump on those things!

    On this side or the other, we will meet once again.


  2. #2
    USMG Member squidfamily1's Avatar
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    Re: Bouncy Castles Will Kill Your Kids

    Just pick anything we did as kids at random and I gaurantee someone will tell you that it's bad for kids. Helmets to ride a bike, cages around home swimming pools, sex without condoms, etc... What's next, banning backyard street fighting?



    Don't be mad. Everything I post is "lol."

  3. #3
    USMG [Retired Staff] Member
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    Re: Bouncy Castles Will Kill Your Kids

    Quote Originally Posted by squidfamily1
    Just pick anything we did as kids at random and I gaurantee someone will tell you that it's bad for kids. Helmets to ride a bike, cages around home swimming pools, sex without condoms, etc... What's next, banning backyard street fighting?

    bahaha. and whats' funny about the backyard stuff is we did it for free back then.. now people are charging for that crap.. CAN YOU BELEIVE IT!
    "Kill one man, and you are a murderer. Kill millions of men, and you are a conqueror. Kill them all, and you are a god."

  4. #4
    USMG [Retired Staff] Member
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    Re: Bouncy Castles Will Kill Your Kids

    Wow I just went to an FRG function this past weekend and they had a bouncy house.


  5. #5
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    Re: Bouncy Castles Will Kill Your Kids

    Quote Originally Posted by squidfamily1
    Just pick anything we did as kids at random and I gaurantee someone will tell you that it's bad for kids. Helmets to ride a bike, cages around home swimming pools, sex without condoms, etc... What's next, banning backyard street fighting?
    You forgot about Lawn Darts. Maybe the most dangerous kids toy ever. Do you guys remember that game? Big huge darts with sharp metal tips on them. And how you played the game was you put a hula hoop looking ring in front of you and your friend put one in front of him. You both stood about 50 feet away. Then you both tried to throw the darts into the ring in front of your friend. What could possibly go wrong?......hahaha.

  6. #6
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    Re: Bouncy Castles Will Kill Your Kids

    Quote Originally Posted by Kingpin
    You forgot about Lawn Darts. Maybe the most dangerous kids toy ever. Do you guys remember that game? Big huge darts with sharp metal tips on them. And how you played the game was you put a hula hoop looking ring in front of you and your friend put one in front of him. You both stood about 50 feet away. Then you both tried to throw the darts into the ring in front of your friend. What could possibly go wrong?......hahaha.
    Ya know I think NERF actually makes this exact same game still, but with foam darts now, of course!

  7. #7
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    Re: Bouncy Castles Will Kill Your Kids

    When I was a kid I found an old fishing box that had lead weights to cast father, I bit them open - put them on my fish line - then bit them closed again. Lead's not even dangerous - I'm only partially fucking retarded today.

  8. #8
    USMG [Retired Staff] Member
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    Re: Bouncy Castles Will Kill Your Kids

    Quote Originally Posted by Kingpin
    You forgot about Lawn Darts. Maybe the most dangerous kids toy ever. Do you guys remember that game? Big huge darts with sharp metal tips on them. And how you played the game was you put a hula hoop looking ring in front of you and your friend put one in front of him. You both stood about 50 feet away. Then you both tried to throw the darts into the ring in front of your friend. What could possibly go wrong?......hahaha.
    I did that as a kid too. But then again, I also rode on my bike through my back yard (the Mojave desert out side of Henderson, Nevada back in the day) through the cactus looking for scorpions. Mine wasn't a normal childhood. But the slip n slid was awesome.

  9. #9
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    Re: Bouncy Castles Will Kill Your Kids

    i swear kids these days... everything has to have round corners and be soft. then you go and deploy and its just free range children everywhere. 5 year olds herding the flock with the 2 year old hanging on their back. Wild packs of dogs looking for stragglers roaming around have to get chased away with rocks. What are you, 7? get a job already slacker!

  10. #10
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    Re: Bouncy Castles Will Kill Your Kids

    Quote Originally Posted by Sentry
    I also rode on my bike through my back yard (the Mojave desert out side of Henderson, Nevada back in the day) through the cactus looking for scorpions. Mine wasn't a normal childhood. But the slip n slid was awesome.
    So......what did you do with the scorpions once you found them? Or don't we want to know that part?


  11. #11
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    Re: Bouncy Castles Will Kill Your Kids

    Quote Originally Posted by MuleTheDestroyer
    i swear kids these days... everything has to have round corners and be soft. then you go and deploy and its just free range children everywhere. 5 year olds herding the flock with the 2 year old hanging on their back. Wild packs of dogs looking for stragglers roaming around have to get chased away with rocks. What are you, 7? get a job already slacker!
    I agree. Were raising a bunch of pussies these days....hahaha. For the last 15 years people have been telling kids that they are all special. And everyone who particapates in any sporting event gets a throphy. It's BS. These kids are in for a rude awaking when they step out into the real world and are not rewarded for just trying. And are not considered special

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