GAH!!!!

[DahliaBellona]

I just want to punch my in-laws in the FACE! My husband is so close to his Aunt (his mom's sister-in-law). My hubby's Aunt is in a coma, a medically induced coma, because the doctor ignored her complaint of pain in her abdomen, and a day later, she came back, and it ended up being Diverticulitis. The pus pockets had burst, which can be fatal. So after the emergency surgery, that SAME doctor told the family that they can't wake her up and get her off of the ventilator because her blood pressure shoots through the roof. On TOP of that, she has PNEUMONIA which is the most common cause of death for patients in a coma! After talking to my in laws today, and officially being DUMBER than I was before for listening to their crap, because they believe this same doctor that should be sued as of YESTERDAY for malpractice in the first place, my in laws told me it was nothing to be concerned about, and to tell my husband he doesn't need to come home. That she's still in a coma in ICU on a ventilator, they can't wake her up, and she has fluid in her lungs, but she's okay. Well, for one, I tried telling them that they would just redeploy my husband back anyway since it is so close to redeployment time in the first place. My husband's command has asked why hasn't he left yet and they have been expecting the red cross message. But my in laws are retarded because my Aunt-In-Law's husband and a woman that lives with them ( :? :roll: :?: ) are handling the situation. Her own SON who is in college doesn't even know! What the? I'm sorry, I just had to vent. I'm so right now, that I feel like going to Texas now and bashing some heads with a Lawyer by my side.

[River_Rat_459]

Sorry you're going through this. You said:

my in laws told me it was nothing to be concerned about, and to tell my husband he doesn't need to come home.

. Seems to me that you need to just go right ahead and make that decision for yourself as to whether or not you need to call for him to come home. IMO...and my opinion only...your husband should be the one to ultimately decide if he wants to come home or not. If he's as close to her as you say, then he's entitled to at least know what's going on and to figure out what he wants to do.

That's just my opinion, like I said. But they're like a-holes...you know the rest. Hope things work out for everyone.

You go ahead and vent all you want.

[Ironhide400]

I feel for you, I really do. I have had family drama, but nothing that dramatic, and it was stressful enough. :?

Vent all you need, it definitely helps. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

[saviger]

if he has a good chain of command, they will let him go on emergency leave even without a red-cross message.

I had to do this couple of times for my soldiers, just push his PL to push the CO and it should get done.

Anything is possible with the proper number of signatures.

[airborne509]

Sorry you're going through this. You said:

my in laws told me it was nothing to be concerned about, and to tell my husband he doesn't need to come home.

. Seems to me that you need to just go right ahead and make that decision for yourself as to whether or not you need to call for him to come home. IMO...and my opinion only...your husband should be the one to ultimately decide if he wants to come home or not. If he's as close to her as you say, then he's entitled to at least know what's going on and to figure out what he wants to do.

That's just my opinion, like I said. But they're like a-holes...you know the rest. Hope things work out for everyone.

You go ahead and vent all you want.

Agree.

[DahliaBellona]

Thanks guys; thing is, is that I can't send the Red Cross message without prying the hospital info from his stubborn mother first. She won't give it to me because she doesn't want me to waste any time of sending one....wow. And his brigade commander's a by the book guy; he can't send the hubby home from Iraq on Emergency Leave without that DA 31 and the Red Cross Message. They can't get him released from theater without the docs showing probable cause.... My husband wants to get to Texas and he's been arguing with his family about it, particularly my mother in law and his Aunt's husband.....my husband already told his mom that if things turn for the worse, and he doesn't get home before it does, he said he will never forgive any of them and will never speak to them again....*sigh*....I'm just glad my husband's not dramatic.... :roll:

[jack]

who has this woman’s power of attorney. :|

[DahliaBellona]

Her husband and her husband's female coworker that's been living with them for the past however many years....THAT situation is way to dramatic to explain :roll:

[wick3d_y4yo]

That situation sucks... been in something kinda like it but after enough stepping on toes they finally let me go on emer leave...

But my in laws are retarded because my Aunt-In-Law's husband and a woman that lives with them ( :? :roll: :?: )

NOW that on the other hand sounds like a very INTERESTING story of sorts... :shock:

[MsJohannah]

Sorry you're going through this. You said:

my in laws told me it was nothing to be concerned about, and to tell my husband he doesn't need to come home.

. Seems to me that you need to just go right ahead and make that decision for yourself as to whether or not you need to call for him to come home. IMO...and my opinion only...your husband should be the one to ultimately decide if he wants to come home or not. If he's as close to her as you say, then he's entitled to at least know what's going on and to figure out what he wants to do.

Agree. If you feel you aren't being told the complete truth and you want to find out for yourself or for your husbands concerns - GO.

[jack]

Her husband and her husband's female coworker that's been living with them for the past however many years....THAT situation is way to dramatic to explain :roll:

then it's the husbands decision as to whither or not to pursue a lawsuit and it's the husbands obligation to fulfill these decisions in her stead, because of her diminished capacity. what you choose to do regarding your end is your's and your husbands decision, they cannot say jack monkey squat about it.

also if the husband cannot or will not fulfill his duties.... then it is the obligation of next of kin to do that, that person being her son in other words immediate family. if the son cannot fulfill his mothers wishes as in executing her power, then and only then does it fall to her brother..... but he would have to contest formally to a court though he would have to have proof. unless she signed her power over to her brother, before they induced her.

otherwise the decisions they're making for her are against her will and Illegal. unless there was an implementation of a living will which will supersede the power and allows her brother to make these decisions on her behalf.

[toby2533]

IF you can find out hospital, talk to a social worker. if there is any strange situation about who is the legal medical rights, they might be able to help. Each state is different. Sorry I'm on vacation I have all the state laws at home. Just tell me the state and when I get home next week I'll send you link or cut past from my presentation I did 2 years ago at the DIA,

[saviger]

Her husband and her husband's female coworker that's been living with them for the past however many years....THAT situation is way to dramatic to explain :roll:

Oh please tell!

[DahliaBellona]

Her husband and her husband's female coworker that's been living with them for the past however many years....THAT situation is way to dramatic to explain :roll:

Oh please tell!

Well, the female "M" works with my hubby's uncle (the husband)....some years ago, he made "M" live with them because he was afraid for "M's" safety. And he turned over the finances of the big huge house they bought, in which they all live together in with the kids, over to "M".....let's put it this way. When my husband explained it to me, not only did my husband talk about it with disdain, but he also came to the conclusion with me agreeing with him, that "M" and my hubby's uncle are boinkin, so to speak, but his uncle won't divorce "D" (the aunt in the hospital that we all love to death). I know that my hubby's Aunt is being really naive about things, but she thinks she's helping out "M" as a friend by letting her live with them. It's so strange and feels like a crazy Lifetime movie :shock:

IF you can find out hospital, talk to a social worker. if there is any strange situation about who is the legal medical rights, they might be able to help. Each state is different. Sorry I'm on vacation I have all the state laws at home. Just tell me the state and when I get home next week I'll send you link or cut past from my presentation I did 2 years ago at the DIA,

They're in Texas, and I'm probably going to end up calling my husband's Aunt's sister, who had gone there from Oklahoma to be with her for this situation....She's the most sensible person I've been able to get a hold of right now....

Her husband and her husband's female coworker that's been living with them for the past however many years....THAT situation is way to dramatic to explain :roll:

then it's the husbands decision as to whither or not to pursue a lawsuit and it's the husbands obligation to fulfill these decisions in her stead, because of her diminished capacity. what you choose to do regarding your end is your's and your husbands decision, they cannot say jack monkey squat about it.

also if the husband cannot or will not fulfill his duties.... then it is the obligation of next of kin to do that, that person being her son in other words immediate family. if the son cannot fulfill his mothers wishes as in executing her power, then and only then does it fall to her brother..... but he would have to contest formally to a court though he would have to have proof. unless she signed her power over to her brother, before they induced her.

otherwise the decisions they're making for her are against her will and Illegal. unless there was an implementation of a living will which will supersede the power and allows her brother to make these decisions on her behalf.

I know, Jack, and that's what's getting me so frustrated....my husband had talked with me late last night and stated he was going to talk to his cousin (the oldest son), about this and see what they were going to do. I just feel helpless because here, my husband is so stressed about this out in Iraq, and he doesn't need to be; especially when it's so close to going home when they really need to concentrate on things (people tend to lose concentration near the end of deployment due to the happiness factor). "D" (the Aunt) had helped raise my hubby, they became almost like brother and sister, because she is one of those young aunt's. My husband had told his mother that if something happened to his aunt, and he is gone, he said he would never forgive any of them. That is seriously something I want to avoid, because to me, Family is so important. But thank you all so much for your words of advice It helps out a lot. Will let u know what happens

[jack]

I really need to stop reading these things when I'm half asleep, I have no idea where I got the brother thing from. but you get the jist.

[ASignorelli]

wow... good rant.

[justj12479]

Well, the female "M" works with my hubby's uncle (the husband)....some years ago, he made "M" live with them because he was afraid for "M's" safety. And he turned over the finances of the big huge house they bought, in which they all live together in with the kids, over to "M".....let's put it this way. When my husband explained it to me, not only did my husband talk about it with disdain, but he also came to the conclusion with me agreeing with him, that "M" and my hubby's uncle are boinkin, so to speak, but his uncle won't divorce "D" (the aunt in the hospital that we all love to death). I know that my hubby's Aunt is being really naive about things, but she thinks she's helping out "M" as a friend by letting her live with them. It's so strange and feels like a crazy Lifetime movie :shock:

Ya, thats definately whats going on. I just don't understand why "D" wouldn't realize all this epecially with "M" taking over finances and everything. And the uncle doesn't want to divorce because there is obviously some type of life insurance or other afterlife payment that he can benefit from once she has passed! The whole situation sucks, and sucks even more that these people would take advantage of "D" like that, escpecially her husband who has been married to her for however long.