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  1. #1
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    Revenge is a dish best served cold....

    Revenge is a dish best served cold, and when it comes to the bank who jacked him for $900, Justin is a master chef.

    When he was a teenager, he got two overdrafts refunded, so a manager put a note on his account saying not to refund any more overdrafts. Years later, the bank put his deposit in the wrong account, causing him to overdraft by $500. Even though it was their mistake, they wouldn't fix it because of the notes on his account. After he got sent to collections, ultimately costing him $900 total, Justin plotted to persuade everyone he knew to switch away from this bank.

    This is the letter Justin wrote to them after he hit his goal of turning $100,000 of business away from this bank, just by telling them his story. He got 11 people to leave, 2 people to refi elsewhere, and successfully discourage 22 people from joining the bank.

    Justin is going to write them another letter when he hits his next goal: turning away $1,000,000 in business.
    http://consumerist.com/2010/09/bank-scr ... iness.html

    The Letter:
    From: Justin Sent: Tuesday, September 07, 2010 10:38 AM To: customerservice@**.com Subject: $100,000 Benchmark HIT!!!

    To whom it may concern:

    My name is Justin ********, if you look at your records, you will notice I used to be a customer of yours. I dare say for a few years, I was a very happy customer of yours. That was until a few years ago, when after a string of banking errors and a couple of mistakes on my part, forced me to discontinue our previously well established relationship. This was due to a number of factors, but primarily the unwillingness of your company to correct what were bank errors due to one of your managers notes. I opened my account with you when I was 15, when I was 16, I had two overdraft charges that were reversed (they were mistakes on my part). One of your managers though put a note on my account stating that no more overdraft charges were to be reversed. This became an issue when a number of years later, a banking error caused 14 overdraft charges to occur on a single day. I appealed as high as the regional manager, but was told nothing could be done. The total overdrawn was less than $80 but resulted in $500 in overdraft charges. I refused to pay, and for good reason, as my deposit slip clearly showed which account my deposit was supposed to go in (i.e. the account it DID NOT go into, and was subsequently overdrawn.) I wonder now if you’ll see this as big of a mistake as I did at the time.

    The result of this banking error was my name being sent to collections, and after all was settled, it cost me around $900. That was my cost. It brings me great personal satisfaction to write this letter to you, and announce what I estimate the current cost of your practices has been to you, thus far. It has been my goal, over the last few years to ensure that all persons in my social network are aware of just how awful you treat your customers. I’m happy to announce that since this occurrence, I’ve successfully persuaded 11 people to leave ***** bank, 2 others to refinance home mortgages with other institutions, and prevented 22 people from either switching to your bank or opening an account with you, simply by truthfully going over what occurred in my experience with you.

    I write today as I’ve hit one of my 5 bench marks. I’m happy to announce (while clearly these can only be soft numbers), that by my estimation, this weekend the amount of business I’ve driven away from ***** in interest, hit $100,000. It really wasn’t that difficult either, all I had to do was explain what my experience was, and ask others as my friend to switch banks. What I found, that wasn’t so surprising, was that many had already been considering it after working with you. So here’s to hitting $100k. My next target is $1 million, and don’t worry, I’ll keep you in the loop and posted when it occurs.

    While I certainly have enjoyed writing you to make you aware of what’s going on, I also thought maybe this could give you a little insight on the “true cost” of screwing loyal customers over. Have a nice day, I’ll be in touch.

    Justin ********
    http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/ ... _fcked_me/

  2. #2
    USMG [Retired Staff] Member
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    Re: Revenge is a dish best served cold....

    haha.

    fantastic. if only everyone was so bold
    "Kill one man, and you are a murderer. Kill millions of men, and you are a conqueror. Kill them all, and you are a god."

  3. #3
    USMG [Retired Staff] Member
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    Re: Revenge is a dish best served cold....

    That was one of the most well written F you letters I have ever seen. I love it.
    "Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everybody you meet." -General Mattis

  4. #4
    Silent but Deadly....
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    Re: Revenge is a dish best served cold....

    Very Articulate.. well done whoever you are..
    http://forums.usmilitarygamers.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=3616&d=1341691069

    Silent But Deadly!

  5. #5
    USMG Beer & Boob Judge
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    Re: Revenge is a dish best served cold....

    EPIC!

    Indecision may or may not be my problem.

  6. #6
    USMG Prestiged Member ladym123's Avatar
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    Re: Revenge is a dish best served cold....

    Speaking of complaint letters...I thought I'd add this hilarious piece of work. It's been doing the rounds for a few years now...but still cracks me up when I read it lol!

    COMPLAINT LETTER TO NTL

    Dear Cretins,

    I have been an NTL customer since 9th July 2001, when I signed up for your 3-in-one deal for cable TV, cable modem, and telephone. During this three-month period I have encountered inadequacy of service which I had not previously considered possible, as well as ignorance and stupidity of monolithic proportions. Please allow me to provide specific details, so that you can either pursue your professional prerogative, and seek to rectify these difficulties - or more likely (I suspect) so that you can have some entertaining reading material as you while away the working day smoking B&H and drinking vendor-coffee on the bog in your office.

    My initial installation was cancelled without warning, resulting in my spending an entire Saturday sitting on my fat arse waiting for your technician to arrive. When he did not arrive, I spent a further 57 minutes listening to your infuriating hold music, and the even more annoying Scottish robot woman telling me to look at your helpful website....HOW?

    I alleviated the boredom by playing with my testicles for a few minutes - an activity at which you are no-doubt both familiar and highly adept. The rescheduled installation then took place some two weeks later, although the technician did forget to bring a number of vital tools - such as a drill-bit, and his cerebrum. Two weeks later, my cable modem had still not arrived. After 15 telephone calls over 4 weeks my modem arrived... six weeks after I had requested it, and begun to pay for it.

    I estimate your internet server's downtime is roughly 35%... hours between about 6pm -midnight, Mon-Fri, and most of the weekend. I am still waiting for my telephone connection. I have made 9 calls on my mobile to your no-help line, and have been unhelpfully transferred to a variety of disinterested individuals, who are it seems also highly skilled bollock jugglers.

    I have been informed that a telephone line is available (and someone will call me back); that no telephone line is available (and someone will call me back); that I will be transferred to someone who knows whether or not a telephone line is available (and then been cut off); that I will be transferred to someone (and then been redirected to an answer machine informing me that your office is closed); that I will be transferred to someone and then been redirected to the irritating Scottish robot woman...and several other variations on this theme.

    Doubtless you are no longer reading this letter, as you have at least a thousand other dissatisfied customers to ignore, and also another one of those crucially important testicle-moments to attend to. Frankly I don't care, it's far more satisfying as a customer to voice my frustration's in print than to shout them at your unending hold music. Forgive me, therefore, if I continue.

    I thought BT were shit, that they had attained the holy piss-pot of god-awful customer relations, that no-one, anywhere, ever, could be more disinterested, less helpful or more obstructive to delivering service to their customers. That's why I chose NTL, and because, well, there isn't anyone else is there? How surprised I therefore was, when I discovered to my considerable dissatisfaction and disappointment what a useless shower of bastards you truly are. You are sputum-filled pieces of distended rectum incompetents of the highest order.

    British Telecom - wankers though they are - shine like brilliant beacons of success, in the filthy puss-filled mire of your seemingly limitless inadequacy. Suffice to say that I have now given up on my futile and foolhardy quest to receive any kind of service from you. I suggest that you cease any potential future attempts to extort payment from me for the services which you have so pointedly and catastrophically failed to deliver - any such activity will be greeted initially with hilarity and disbelief quickly be replaced by derision, and even perhaps bemused rage.

    I enclose two small deposits, selected with great care from my cats litter tray, as an expression of my utter and complete contempt for both you and your pointless company. I sincerely hope that they have not become desiccated during transit - they were satisfyingly moist at the time of posting, and I would feel considerable disappointment if you did not experience both their rich aroma and delicate texture. Consider them the very embodiment of my feelings towards NTL, and its worthless employees.

    Have a nice day - may it be the last in you miserable short life, you irritatingly incompetent and infuriatingly unhelpful bunch of twats.

    John



  7. #7
    USMG [Retired Staff] Member
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    Re: Revenge is a dish best served cold....

    Quote Originally Posted by ladym123
    Speaking of complaint letters...I thought I'd add this hilarious piece of work. It's been doing the rounds for a few years now...but still cracks me up when I read it lol!

    COMPLAINT LETTER TO NTL

    Dear Cretins,

    I have been an NTL customer since 9th July 2001, when I signed up for your 3-in-one deal for cable TV, cable modem, and telephone. During this three-month period I have encountered inadequacy of service which I had not previously considered possible, as well as ignorance and stupidity of monolithic proportions. Please allow me to provide specific details, so that you can either pursue your professional prerogative, and seek to rectify these difficulties - or more likely (I suspect) so that you can have some entertaining reading material as you while away the working day smoking B&H and drinking vendor-coffee on the bog in your office.

    My initial installation was cancelled without warning, resulting in my spending an entire Saturday sitting on my fat arse waiting for your technician to arrive. When he did not arrive, I spent a further 57 minutes listening to your infuriating hold music, and the even more annoying Scottish robot woman telling me to look at your helpful website....HOW?

    I alleviated the boredom by playing with my testicles for a few minutes - an activity at which you are no-doubt both familiar and highly adept. The rescheduled installation then took place some two weeks later, although the technician did forget to bring a number of vital tools - such as a drill-bit, and his cerebrum. Two weeks later, my cable modem had still not arrived. After 15 telephone calls over 4 weeks my modem arrived... six weeks after I had requested it, and begun to pay for it.

    I estimate your internet server's downtime is roughly 35%... hours between about 6pm -midnight, Mon-Fri, and most of the weekend. I am still waiting for my telephone connection. I have made 9 calls on my mobile to your no-help line, and have been unhelpfully transferred to a variety of disinterested individuals, who are it seems also highly skilled bollock jugglers.

    I have been informed that a telephone line is available (and someone will call me back); that no telephone line is available (and someone will call me back); that I will be transferred to someone who knows whether or not a telephone line is available (and then been cut off); that I will be transferred to someone (and then been redirected to an answer machine informing me that your office is closed); that I will be transferred to someone and then been redirected to the irritating Scottish robot woman...and several other variations on this theme.

    Doubtless you are no longer reading this letter, as you have at least a thousand other dissatisfied customers to ignore, and also another one of those crucially important testicle-moments to attend to. Frankly I don't care, it's far more satisfying as a customer to voice my frustration's in print than to shout them at your unending hold music. Forgive me, therefore, if I continue.

    I thought BT were shit, that they had attained the holy piss-pot of god-awful customer relations, that no-one, anywhere, ever, could be more disinterested, less helpful or more obstructive to delivering service to their customers. That's why I chose NTL, and because, well, there isn't anyone else is there? How surprised I therefore was, when I discovered to my considerable dissatisfaction and disappointment what a useless shower of bastards you truly are. You are sputum-filled pieces of distended rectum incompetents of the highest order.

    British Telecom - wankers though they are - shine like brilliant beacons of success, in the filthy puss-filled mire of your seemingly limitless inadequacy. Suffice to say that I have now given up on my futile and foolhardy quest to receive any kind of service from you. I suggest that you cease any potential future attempts to extort payment from me for the services which you have so pointedly and catastrophically failed to deliver - any such activity will be greeted initially with hilarity and disbelief quickly be replaced by derision, and even perhaps bemused rage.

    I enclose two small deposits, selected with great care from my cats litter tray, as an expression of my utter and complete contempt for both you and your pointless company. I sincerely hope that they have not become desiccated during transit - they were satisfyingly moist at the time of posting, and I would feel considerable disappointment if you did not experience both their rich aroma and delicate texture. Consider them the very embodiment of my feelings towards NTL, and its worthless employees.

    Have a nice day - may it be the last in you miserable short life, you irritatingly incompetent and infuriatingly unhelpful bunch of twats.

    John
    a man after my heart haha.

    great stuff
    "Kill one man, and you are a murderer. Kill millions of men, and you are a conqueror. Kill them all, and you are a god."

  8. #8
    USMG [Retired Staff] Member
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    Re: Revenge is a dish best served cold....

    This is great! I have been screwed over by bank mistakes before, but not by much. You really have to wonder if the bank even cares?




  9. #9
    USMG [Retired Staff] Member
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    Re: Revenge is a dish best served cold....

    Quote Originally Posted by Ironhide400
    This is great! I have been screwed over by bank mistakes before, but not by much. You really have to wonder if the bank even cares?
    They will start to if they lose 1,000,000 worth of business!!
    "Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everybody you meet." -General Mattis

  10. #10
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    Re: Revenge is a dish best served cold....

    Quote Originally Posted by dbgUSMC
    Quote Originally Posted by Ironhide400
    This is great! I have been screwed over by bank mistakes before, but not by much. You really have to wonder if the bank even cares?
    They will start to if they lose 1,000,000 worth of business!!
    No, they'll blame it on the economy and have the government bail them out.


  11. #11
    USMG [Retired Staff] Member
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    Re: Revenge is a dish best served cold....

    You might be right on that one spyder... :roll:
    "Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everybody you meet." -General Mattis

  12. #12
    USMG [Retired Staff] Member
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    Re: Revenge is a dish best served cold....

    Quote Originally Posted by jxspyder
    Quote Originally Posted by dbgUSMC
    Quote Originally Posted by Ironhide400
    This is great! I have been screwed over by bank mistakes before, but not by much. You really have to wonder if the bank even cares?
    They will start to if they lose 1,000,000 worth of business!!
    No, they'll blame it on the economy and have the government bail them out.
    haha...

    sad. and true.
    "Kill one man, and you are a murderer. Kill millions of men, and you are a conqueror. Kill them all, and you are a god."

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