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Thread: Roping a deer

  1. #1
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    Oct 2010
    Santa Maria, CA
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    Roping a deer

    (Names have been removed to protect the stupid!)
    Actual letter from someone who farms and writes well!

    I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall,
    feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it.

    The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that,
    since they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much
    fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at
    the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away), it
    should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag g over its
    head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.
    I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope.

    The cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back.
    They were not having any of it. After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up -- 3 of them. I picked
    out.. ..a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me.
    I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would
    have a good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could
    tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation.
    I took a step towards it...took a step away. I put a little tension
    on the rope and then received an education.

    The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just stand
    there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action
    when you start pulling on that rope.

    That deer EXPLODED.

    The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT
    stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I could
    fight down with a rope and with some dignity. A deer-- no chance.
    That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no
    controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet
    and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having
    a deer on a rope w as not nearly as good an idea as I had originally imagined.
    The only upside is that they do not have as much stamina as many
    other animals. A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to
    jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few
    minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out
    of the big gash in my head. At that point, I had lost my taste for corn-fed venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope.
    I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck,
    it would likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there
    was no love at all between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the
    thing, and I would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual.

    Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had cleverly
    arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various large
    rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly enough to
    recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny
    amount of responsibility for the situation we were in, so I didn't want the
    deer to have to suffer a slow death, so I managed to get it lined back up in
    between my truck and the feeder - a little trap I had set before hand...kind
    of like a squeeze chute.
    I got it to back in there and I started moving up so I could get my
    rope back. Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in n a million years
    would have thought that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very
    surprised when I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my

    Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse
    where they just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its head --almost
    like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts.
    The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze
    and draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was ineffective. It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but it was likely only several seconds.
    I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that
    claim by now), tricked it. While I kept it busy tearing the tendons out of my
    right arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose. That
    was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day. Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and their
    hooves are surprisingly sharp. I learned a long time ago that, when an animal --
    like a horse --strikes at you with their hooves and you can't get away
    easily, the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an
    aggressive move towards the animal. This will usually cause them to
    back down a bit so you can escape.

    This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously, such trickery
    would not work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different strategy. I
    screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run.
    The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a horse
    that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit you
    in the back of the head. Deer may not be so different from horses after
    all, besides being twice as strong and 3 times as evil, because the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and knocked
    me down. Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not
    immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed.
    What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while you
    are laying there crying like a little girl and covering your head.
    I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away.
    So now I know why when people go deer hunting they bring a rifle
    with a scope to sort of even the odds.

  2. #2
    USMG Member tracker_usmc's Avatar
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    Feb 2010
    Lincoln, CA

    Re: Roping a deer

    LOL...that was a great story!

  3. #3
    USMG [Retired Staff] Member
    Ironhide400's Avatar
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    Feb 2010
    Springfield, IL
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    Re: Roping a deer

    Damn, when River told me he did this, I thought he was joking.... :shock:

  4. #4
    USMG Beer & Boob Judge
    River_Rat_459's Avatar
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    Aug 2009
    Bridgeport, WV
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    Re: Roping a deer

    Quote Originally Posted by Ironhide400
    Damn, when River told me he did this, I thought he was joking.... :shock:
    Damnit Iron! You weren't supposed to tell anyone!
    Anyway, now you all know why I've taken to hunting deer with hand grenades this year.

    Indecision may or may not be my problem.

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