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Thread: Divorce Letter

  1. #1
    Silent but Deadly....
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    Divorce Letter

    Just so you know - I DID NOT write this. It was an email that got forwarded to me. I found the idea amusing. Please feel free to discuss amongst yourselves.

    Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:

    We have stuck together since the late 1950's for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.

    Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

    Here is a model separation agreement: Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

    We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with wind, solar and biodiesel. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.

    We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood .

    You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.

    We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N. but we will no longer be paying the bill.

    We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

    You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors. We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right. We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National Anthem." I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya" or "We Are the World".

    We'll practice trickle down economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.

    Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.

    Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you answer which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

    Sincerely,John J. Wall Law Student and an American

    P. S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbra Streisand, & Jane Fonda with you.

    P. S. S. And you won't have to press 1 for English when you call our country. 
    http://forums.usmilitarygamers.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=3616&d=1341691069

    Silent But Deadly!

  2. #2
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    Here here, i would so go for this. And now i shall spread this throughotu Facebook lol. It shall be glourious. But on a serious note, i really think this would work. Sure the liberals would lose the South, most of the Great Plains, part of the Rocky Mountain are, and dont forget Alaska and Hawaii. But the liberals would get what they want. We can be happy in this way of life. i know i would be lol


    Do you hear the voices too?

  3. #3
    USMG Member tracker_usmc's Avatar
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    Very well said!!


  4. #4
    USMG Member shack_up's Avatar
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    Love it

    All so true!!!!!!



  5. #5
    I run this website..

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    I threw this up on my blog. I wouldn't agree to all the terms, but most are a good compromise..

    I would tell them, they can have the oil, and we'll keep nuclear fission, and continue to develop nuclear fusion technology.


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  6. #6
    Social Media Manager



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    bump!!!!


    I was searching for something and this came up. Great old post.


  7. #7

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    This is good.
    "A NINJA WITH A GUN, NOW THAT'S JUST CHEATING"

  8. #8
    Mr. Asian Persuasion
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    I never saw this.

    Well put
    "He who Wields the gun, Mercy"



  9. #9


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    Quote Originally Posted by Rickety Rob View Post
    I never saw this.

    Well put
    This is all vey true, some could be left out, not much though. I know some guys at work that are going to love this...someone get that man a beer

  10. #10
    USMG Member Stolenwaffle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GhostOverride View Post
    This is all vey true, some could be left out, not much though. I know some guys at work that are going to love this...someone get that man a beer
    I don't know many people in the military that wouldn't agree to this haha. Give me my gun.

  11. #11
    USMG Member iCharlieF0xtr0t's Avatar
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    This is the greatest thing I have ever read in awhile, I'd go for it,

    "Your Friendly Nieghborhood Concealed Carrying DJ and Producer."

  12. #12
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    Yeah, this is funny to read, but think about it for a minute. If we gave up everything on the liberal side, we'd pretty much end up with a society similar to Orwell's 1984. We would end up with a dirty, polluted country with no entertainment where there would be nothing holding corporations back, or the government. You would eventually find yourself in a police state. Probably run by the church. There would be no rights in the end and only rich people would have any healthcare. (The "healthcare is a luxury" particularly stuck out to me.) Not really a country I would like to live in.

  13. #13
    USMG [Retired Staff] Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by RogueScot View Post
    Yeah, this is funny to read, but think about it for a minute. If we gave up everything on the liberal side, we'd pretty much end up with a society similar to Orwell's 1984. We would end up with a dirty, polluted country with no entertainment where there would be nothing holding corporations back, or the government. You would eventually find yourself in a police state. Probably run by the church. There would be no rights in the end and only rich people would have any healthcare. (The "healthcare is a luxury" particularly stuck out to me.) Not really a country I would like to live in.
    Not even true. That's what many of the left would have you believe, and that's what you get if you have crony capitalism. If you have true libertarianism, you have the minimum (not "no") government, with private organizations doing safety checks (look at Underwriters Laboratories). Police state? We would have the exact opposite, and libertarianism merely lets people use their religion how they want to on their own. No big government vehicle they can use to promote or attack it. And as far as healthcare, you'd see costs come significantly down, because without the government either adding regulations or serving as a barrier to entry, the market would take care of it. Sure, some people would be worse off (but not the average person). These would be those who don't check things for themselves, for those who need the safety net of big government. Government in collision with businesses is just as bad as big government by itself.

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