Application to date my Daughter!

**Timmy_2_Tones** · 03-19-2010, 17:45

APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER
Print out and submit as per instructions at the bottom of the form.
1. Name :__________________________________________________ Date of Birth :_________________
2. Height :___________________________ Weight :_______________________ GPA :________________
3. Social Sec. #_______________________ Drivers license #______________________________________
4. Boy Scout Rank :__________________________
5. Home address :____________________________ City/ State____________________________________
6. Do you have one male and one female parent ? Yes _______ No _______
7. If no, explain :_________________________________________________________________________
8. Number of years parents married :__________________________________________________________
9. Do you own a van ?______ A truck with oversized tires ?______ A water bed ?_______
10. Do you have an earring , nose ring , belly-button ring ?______ A tattoo ?_______
(If yes to any of #9 or #10, Discontinue application and leave premises ...
11. In ten words or less, what does LATE mean to you ?___________________________________________
12. In ten words or less, what does Abstinence mean to you ?______________________________________
13. In ten words or less, what does DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER mean to you ?___________________
___________________________________________________________________________ ____________
14. Church you attend :_________________________________ How often you attend :_______________
15. When would be the best time to interview your Father, Mother, And Minister ? ___________________
16. What would you want to be IF you grew up ? _______________________________________________

Answer by filling in the blanks. Please answer freely - all answers are confidential
(that I won't tell anyone - ever- I promise).

If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want wounded is in the __________________________

If I were beaten the last bone I would want broken is my ________________________________________
The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is ___________________________________

When I first meet a girl, the thing I notice about her first is_______________________________________
(Note: If answer begins with T or A, discontinue and leave premises: Keeping your head low and running in
a serpentine fashion is advised. )

I SWEAR THAT THE INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF: NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, ELECTROCUTION,
CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, DEATH, AND DISMEMBERMENT.

Signature (that means your name, moron)______________________________________________________

Thank you for your interest. Please allow 4 to 6 weeks for processing. You will be contacted in writing if
you are approved. Please do not attempt to call or write. If your application is rejected you will be
notified by two gentlemen wearing white coats and carrying a violin case.

APPLICANT'S RIGHT THUMB PRINT IN BLOOD

**tracker_usmc** · 03-19-2010, 19:00

LMAO!!!

**David_3033** · 03-19-2010, 21:43

haha that's awesome. My dad used to get his pistols out and lay them on the table when he knew my sisters were bringing their boyfriends home to meet him. He would be pretending to clean them. The look on their faces after they walked out was priceless!!

**Timmy_2_Tones** · 03-19-2010, 21:51

LMAO! That is what my plan is DB.

**jack** · 03-20-2010, 01:00

Or you could stand naked in your living room...... listing to George Thorogood, cleaning your guns while wearing nothing but tube socks and jungle boots. :mrgreen:

**hot_karl** · 03-20-2010, 10:58

Originally Posted by jack

Or you could stand naked in your living room...... listing to George Thorogood, cleaning your guns while wearing nothing but tube socks and jungle boots. :mrgreen:

always gotta be about naked dudes or balls doesn't it

**jack** · 03-20-2010, 20:42

Originally Posted by hot_karl

Originally Posted by jack

Or you could stand naked in your living room...... listing to George Thorogood, cleaning your guns while wearing nothing but tube socks and jungle boots. :mrgreen:

always gotta be about naked dudes or balls doesn't it

better than taking a dump on someone

**hot_karl** · 03-20-2010, 21:02

good point

**River_Rat_459** · 03-20-2010, 21:16

Don't know about you Timmy, but my oldest daughter is only 10. I'll be singing this song when it comes time for her to start dating:
[youtube:3n1fpwxk]jjO9kX4npVY[/youtube:3n1fpwxk]

**ASignorelli** · 03-22-2010, 00:54

WTF? boy scout rank? they need to take that one off. LOL

**MosheNormal** · 03-28-2010, 11:28

great stuff!!!!!!!! My daughter is only seven. I'm scared sh#tless bout her growin up and meetin a guy. I want that first one to feel like I did the night the bus stopped at Paris island and we had to get on the little feet prints for the first time. DI standin there lookin at our street clothes.
If any man she meets gets past my bootcamp he will have earned her love and deserve it. Gotta be a Jewish boy too. If he's not, he will be cause I know a Moil down the street that can do emergancy Briss cheap.