Chuck Norris fact of the day. [Archive]

ECHOx4xVICTOR

10-15-2010, 11:00

Chuck Norris is the only man on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face.

Ironhide400

10-15-2010, 12:03

Chuck Norris once kicked a horse, it's descendants are now known as giraffes.

ECHOx4xVICTOR

10-15-2010, 12:05

When Chuck Norris walks into a room he doesn't turn on the lights. He turns off the dark.

I can do this all day. :lol:

XxSilentxFartxX

10-15-2010, 12:21

Chuck Norris doesnt get wet, Chuck Norris Rains on water

I can also do this all day lol

XxSilentxFartxX

10-15-2010, 12:21

Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors
Chuck Norris counted to infinity twice
Chuck Norris refers to himself in 4th person
Chuck Norris does not leave messages, he leaves warnings.
When the boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet and under the bed for Chuck Norris
The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain
Chuck Norris can split the atom with his bare hands
Chuck Norris doesnt need scuba diving equipment, he just holds his breath

ECHOx4xVICTOR

10-15-2010, 12:30

Cheater. One at a time.

Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.

MuleTheDestroyer

10-15-2010, 12:33

Chuck Norris once had to sue Miramax; Brokeback mountain is the copyrighted trademark of the pile of dead ninjas in his back yard.

Ironhide400

10-15-2010, 12:40

Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding. :lol:

ECHOx4xVICTOR

10-15-2010, 12:45

There once was a street named Chuck Norris. They had to change it because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

wick3d_y4yo

10-15-2010, 12:49

Chuck Norris doesn't do push up's he pushes the Earth away. :o

ApollosArrow89

10-15-2010, 12:53

Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer. Too Bad he doesn't cry

ECHOx4xVICTOR

10-15-2010, 12:55

In the medical community death is known as "Chuck Norris Disease"

ApollosArrow89

10-15-2010, 12:57

Chuck Norris doesnt do push-ups. He pushes the earth down.

ECHOx4xVICTOR

10-15-2010, 12:59

Chuck Norris likes his ice like he likes his skulls: crushed.

Told you. All day boys.

MARDIGRA21

10-15-2010, 13:01

Chuck Norris uses hot sauce instead of eye drops

MARDIGRA21

10-15-2010, 13:03

Why does Chuck Norris’s dog clean up his own crap?
It does because Chuck Norris doesn’t take crap from anyone.

MARDIGRA21

10-15-2010, 13:04

If you have 10 dollars, and Chuck Norris has 10 dollars. He has more money than you.

I too can do this all day

ECHOx4xVICTOR

10-15-2010, 13:10

Whoever said "only the good die young" was probably in Chuck Norris' kindergarten class.

MARDIGRA21

10-15-2010, 13:11

Some kids pee there names in snow. Chuck Norris can pee his in granite.

ECHOx4xVICTOR

10-15-2010, 13:29

Human cloning is outlawed because if Chuck Norris were cloned, then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another Chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.

Your move mardigras. :D

MARDIGRA21

10-15-2010, 13:30

There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in the U.S.

ECHOx4xVICTOR

10-15-2010, 13:32

http://www.moneymakingforfree.com/wp-content/plugins/wp-o-matic/cache/60240_74f252f9e13d9a257bc55cfe13d2cc70.jpg

I know it technically doesn't belong here, but, it fits.

MARDIGRA21

10-15-2010, 13:34

Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
.

MuleTheDestroyer

10-15-2010, 13:39

Chuck Norris can belive that it's not butter.

MARDIGRA21

10-15-2010, 13:39

There is no control button on Chuck Norris’s computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

ECHOx4xVICTOR

10-15-2010, 13:42

Since Chuck Norris was born roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.

ECHOx4xVICTOR

10-15-2010, 13:43

Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don't simply kill people; they wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.

MARDIGRA21

10-15-2010, 13:45

The Vietnam War was started because Chuck Norris wanted more rice.

MARDIGRA21

10-15-2010, 13:47

Chuck Norris goes to Lowe’s for breakfast.

ECHOx4xVICTOR

10-15-2010, 13:47

You know, between you and me mardigras, no one else is even getting a chance at this. HAHAHAHA :lol:

MARDIGRA21

10-15-2010, 13:48

I'm going to leave you with the best one of all

Chuck Norris can beat COD5 on Veteran, with a Dance Dance Revolution mat.

Nuff said I win lol

ECHOx4xVICTOR

10-15-2010, 13:49

Game over, man. Game over. :lol:

MuleTheDestroyer

10-15-2010, 13:53

The cold war ended after Gorbachev called it quits after seeing a delta force marathon on TNT

ECHOx4xVICTOR

10-15-2010, 13:53

Gotta love fuckin' Corpsman.

MARDIGRA21

10-15-2010, 13:54

Heard them from u marines

ECHOx4xVICTOR

10-15-2010, 13:58

Yeah, we get bored easily. Look up dumb shit. Especially infantry marines like me.

River_Rat_459

10-15-2010, 15:37

Chuck Norris can run so fast that he can punch himself in the back of the head.

Sorry, just had to add in my favorite. :)

bcgdragon

10-15-2010, 17:52

One more? Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

ECHOx4xVICTOR

10-15-2010, 17:55

By all means keep going. I just figured me and mardigras should stop to give everyone else a chance. :D

A-25TH-ID-VET

10-15-2010, 18:10

Chuck Norris is a pussy compared to some!!!!!!!!!!!

InkaB0DpaiN

10-16-2010, 02:38

I don't always drink beer but when I do I ask chuck norris if its ok to drink dos eques .

InkaB0DpaiN

10-16-2010, 02:50

when chuck norris has to blow out his candles on his birthday the candles are already melted without being lite.

InkaB0DpaiN

10-16-2010, 02:55

Chuck Norris 's license expiration date is when ever he fells like it.

MaximusR3

10-16-2010, 07:56

i spent hours reading through this site, good stuff :lol:

http://www.chucknorrisfactoids.com/

MaximusR3

10-16-2010, 07:57

Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.

ECHOx4xVICTOR

10-16-2010, 08:22

Chuck Norris was the original sculptor of Mt. Rushmore. He completed the entire project using only a bottle opener and a drywall trowel.

saviger

10-16-2010, 10:57

"Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone. "

ECHOx4xVICTOR

10-16-2010, 14:14

Nothing can escape the gravity of a black hole, except Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris eats black holes, which to him taste like chicken.

Bull3tBait

10-16-2010, 14:37

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if the woodchuck were Chuck Norris? The answer would be All of it.

MARDIGRA21

10-16-2010, 14:59

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall so he taught it karate.

ECHOx4xVICTOR

10-17-2010, 08:58

The crossing lights in Chuck Norris' home town say "die slowly" and "die quickly". They each have a picture of Chuck Norris kicking a pedestrian.

River_Rat_459

10-17-2010, 18:11

http://verydemotivational.files.wordpress.com/2010/10/32417dd6-7386-49ce-a18b-69ef7442eb91.jpg

ECHOx4xVICTOR

10-18-2010, 08:14

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts skill. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, he roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second wednesday of the month.

ApollosArrow89

10-18-2010, 17:24

Chuck Norris can fire a gun at u and roundhouse kick u in the fae before the bullet even hits u.

jxspyder

10-19-2010, 13:52

The Sherman tank was originally supposed to be called the Norris tank. However, this name was scrapped when Chuck Norris decided it wasn't tough enough to be associated with him. In fear, the DoD quickly renamed it, and promised to design one more fitting. To date, no weapon created is bad-ass enough to be named after Chuck Norris.

ECHOx4xVICTOR

10-19-2010, 14:11

The pie scene in "American Pie" is based on a dare Chuck Norris took when he was younger. However, in Chuck Norris' case, the "pie" was the molten crater of an active volcano.

Ironhide400

10-19-2010, 16:40

Chuck Norris has counted to the last number in pie...TWICE!

jxspyder

10-19-2010, 18:43

They tried to make a Chuck Norris video game, but had to give up when they realized that no difficulty could be created to challenge Chuck Norris.

ECHOx4xVICTOR

11-02-2010, 05:18

Chuck Norris can win a game of Trivial Pursuit with one roll of the dice, and without answering a single question...just a nod of the head, and a stroke of the beard.

MuleTheDestroyer

11-02-2010, 08:55

Chuck Norris can start a fire by rubbing 2 ice cubes together

River_Rat_459

11-02-2010, 16:26

http://images.icanhascheezburger.com/completestore/2009/1/28/128776187882112797.jpg

Ironhide400

11-02-2010, 21:23

That's the best on yet River!

River_Rat_459

11-03-2010, 21:28

http://www.gifbin.com/bin/1237811519_chuck-norris-approves.gif

River_Rat_459

11-06-2010, 20:17

http://www.randomfunnypicture.com/pictures/1388dont-mess-with-chuck-noriss-animated-gif.gif
PROOF! Chuck Norris does have eyes in the back of his head!

River_Rat_459

11-08-2010, 21:43

Chuck Norris can make you destroy things in your own home just by looking at you. See for yourself:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hIldGCWqEzg

ECHOx4xVICTOR

11-09-2010, 14:47

Chuck Norris is the only man who has, literally, beaten the odds. With his fists.

ECHOx4xVICTOR

11-09-2010, 14:51

593
................................

Amiable Horde

11-09-2010, 15:51

http://demotivatorsblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/chuck-norris-demotivational-poster-.jpg

Rickety Rob

08-21-2012, 05:45

Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.